


Black Hole Sun

by CastielWinchester



Series: Sanders Sides One-Shots [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bathtub, Black Hole Sun, Black ooze, Blood, But you can't always get what you want - Rolling Stones, Creativity, Dark Morality, Dead Sides, Dead Thomas, Death, Deceit, Depressed Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Depression, Depression trigger warning, Fear, Gen, Gore, Guilt, Hallucinations, I wanted to animate this, Injury, Insane Creativity I guess, Logic, Mean Deceit Sanders, Morality, No really this has a mego depresso, Pissed off Deceit, Razors, Regret, Self-Harm, Sides named by their jobs, Song Based, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Suicide trigger warning, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Trippy, mego sad, soundgarden - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-04 11:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18342647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester/pseuds/CastielWinchester
Summary: A Sanders Sides AU one shot (That end up with a second chapter) based before Accepting Anxiety.Anxiety suffers from severe depression and heightened anxiety. This is due to many things, how he is scared about failing Thomas, and disappointing or harming the other sides. But the core factor is the guilt he feels for leaving the Dark Sides, and Deceit doesn't help him feel any better. Instead, Deceit lashes out at him, and resents him for it. It makes it worse that Anxiety doesn't even feel like he fits in with the other sides. This causes his depression, and his depression makes him see things and hear things that aren't real. So, to free himself from it all, and free others from the burden of himself, he takes a course of action that no one really should take.======I thought this up while listening to the Soundgarden song Black Hole Sun, so this is somewhat based around the lyrics of that song. I wrote more details about this in the fic, so that's there if you're curious.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This does have a MAJOR suicide warning, as the plot surrounds depression and suicide. And there is all the stuff Virgil sees, which is also slightly graphic. Please be warned of the blood, self-harm, and other injures that will be in here, so read at your own risk.  
> ======  
> I wanted to note that this isn't really inspired, per say, but it was influenced by one of my favorite Sanders Sides fics, The Duck Pond by periwren.  
> I might consider doing something more or this, but for now this is just going to be left as a one shot.  
> (And hey if you happen to be the kind of person who has talent and wants to animate or make an animatic of this like I wished I could do, I'm totally chill with you doing it as long as you credit me.)  
> Cas out.

This AU has a MAJOR suicide warning, it’s plot surrounds depression and suicide so read at your own risk. This is basically a depressed suicidal Anxiety thing I had to get down so…

(This also takes place before Accepting Anxiety.) The basic thing is that Anxiety became depressed due to the fact of guilt by leaving the Dark Sides. Deceit is pissed at Anxiety for leaving, and would often lash out at Anxiety, making his depression worse. His depression was slightly different, due to being a side instead of a human. So, his depression and increased anxiety makes him see things, like Thomas and all the sides severely harmed and turning into unspeakable things. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, and did something about it he thought was the right course at the time. When Deceit finds out, he is immensely guilty, and tries to fix it at the very end. This is the trippy (and only) version of how it happens. So it might be slightly confusing because it’s not like regular writing, almost like a script.

Okay so note that I’m basing this off of the Soundgarden song Black Hole Sun, like a lot. First off its gonna have the lyrics mixed in this. I really wanted to make this an animatic, but I don’t think I could get around to doing it, and if I did it would either never get finished or probably be complete trash. (I might try one day but I wouldn’t bet on it.) This song is also a really trippy and sad song (so the fic is also trippy and sad), so I suggest listening to it before reading this, so you can get a better idea of what the song sounds like as you see the lyrics in it. Hell, you can listen to it while you read this too, to set the mood. You don’t have to, but I feel like if you haven’t heard it you should hear it to understand this a bit better. 

Also:

Present time is typed like this.

_Past time is typed like this._

**_Song lyrics are typed like this._ **

Got that? Okay, let’s get into this mess!

 ======================

Anxiety couldn’t handle it anymore. It was too hard, too painful. All the things he saw, all the guilt, it was too much. God, Deceit made it harder. Always lashing out at him, always behind closed doors. If he ever tried to tell any of the other sides, Deceit would keep him from saying anything. Not that Anxiety should, he would never want to bother the other sides more than he already does.

Besides, he deserved it.

He deserved the pain, he knew it. All the times Deceit would beat him, all the times Creativity made fun of him, all the times Logic corrected him, all the guilt for leaving the Dark Sides, all the guilt from hurting Thomas, and bothering Morality, he deserved all of it. He knew. He caused others too much pain, and he knew he deserved more pain than he was given.

But that doesn’t mean he felt strong enough to handle it.

He reached for the paper pad and pen on his dresser, and ripped out a piece of paper. He knew what he was going to do about it. He was a waste of space anyway, no one really needed him. But he also knew he couldn’t do it without letting the others know he was sorry. He didn’t want to just go up to them and do it, he really couldn’t. But he would write it out for them. Tears began to spill over his face and stain the paper, smearing the ink as he wrote. He wrote about how he was sorry for all the trouble he’d caused the others and Thomas. How he was sorry for betraying Deceit and not staying with him.

He was sorry for existing.

After writing it, he slunk over to his bathroom, and placed the note on the counter. He went over to the bathtub and ran hot water. It always goes faster if you use hot water. He sighed as he dug through the counter drawer, and finally pulled out a sharp razor he kept when he needed to slice away the horrific visions and burn away the voices.

After turning off the water, he turned around to face himself in the mirror one last time. He didn’t like what he saw. His eyes were sunken in, and red from crying. The bags under his eyes were now visible after crying away the eyeshadow that hid it. His skin was a sick pale, and his hair was a mess.

He slipped into the tub full of warm, almost comforting water. He pulled up his sleeves, revealing a mass of scars on his arms, from all the times he tried to ride of the voices and visions haunting him. But those weren’t his focus. His focus was one his wrists, where blood pumped heavily. He took in one shuddering breath, then began to slice the razor down his wrist.

\------

**_In my eyes, indisposed_ **

_Anxiety_ _closed his eyes as he sliced the skin of his arm._

**_In disguises no one knows_ **

_He pulled the sleeves down over the multitude scars; no one has to know._

**_Hides the face, lies the snake_ **

_No one has to know how Deceit is always behind him either._

_**Th** _ **_e sun in my disgrace_ **

_Controlling him, hurting him._

 

 

**_Boiling heat, summer stench_ **

_Anxiety_ _looked at Creativity, hope for help glimmered in his eyes._

**_Neath the black the sky looks dead_ **

_Of course, Creativity couldn’t see it through his own blood pouring over his face, thought Virgil._

**_Call my name through the cream_ **

_Morality called for Anxiety, Morality was scared for Anxiety._

**_And I'll hear you scream again_ **

_Anxiety_ _was scared too. It was hard seeing dear Morality turned into blackness._

****

****

**_Black hole sun_ **

_Anxiety_ _sang to himself in the quiet I his room as he let tears flow._

**_Won't you come_ **

_He was curled in a ball on his bed, ignoring the black seep down the walls like oozing blood._

**_And wash away the rain_ **

_He tried to ignore the pain from what Deceit did to him after he saw him in the halls of the Mindscape._

**_Black hole sun_ **

_The bruises welled._

**_Won't you come_ **

_His skin itched. The voices screamed._

**_Won't you come (won't you come)_ **

_He went for the razor._

 

 

**_Stuttering, cold and damp_ **

_Logic glared at Anxiety for his actions as the blood seeped from the bullet hole in his head._

**_Steal the warm wind, tired friend_ **

_Anxiety_ _shivered in his hoodie in the dark. He was always cold, never able to feel warmth._

**_Times are gone for honest men_ **

_Thomas smiled._

**_And sometimes far too long for snakes_ **

_And Deceit hide Thomas’s tears._

 

**_In my shoes, walking sleep_ **

_Anxiety tried to hide how tired he was. The pain and nightmares kept him from sleep._

**_And my youth I pray to keep_ **

_He tried to ignore the blood coming from Morality’s throat._

**_Heaven sent hell away_ **

_Anxiety tried to calm the tears, hoping or some distraction. Then he heard a sound._

**_No one sings like you anymore_ **

_He heard Creativity sing, and it was just enough. He came out and next to Creativity's room, and sat next to the door, unable to notice Creativity grow a nasty, inhuman grin and advance on Anxiety._

 

 

**_Black hole sun_ **

_He sang once more in the dark shadows of his room._

**_Won't you come_ **

_Shadows crept in the corner of his vision._

**_And wash away the rain_ **

_Tears spilled and mixed with blood._

**_Black hole sun_ **

_He tried to sing in order to ignore and forget._

**_Won't you come_ **

_He covered his mouth in horror as his voice deformed._

**_Won't you come_ **

_Too demonic to be good. To be trusted._

**_Black hole sun_ **

_Anxiety stood at the stairs._

**_Won't you come_ **

_Creativity poked fun at Anxiety with black ooze all over himself, coming from thin air._

**_And wash away the rain_ **

_Logic fumed with anger at how much Anxiety messed up, as the blood spilled from his open neck._

**_Black hole sun_ **

_Morality tried to be good and kind as the shadows engulfed him._

**_Won't you come_ **

_Anxiety ran, being chased by screams and shadows._

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

_Blood dripped from the walls._

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

_Shadows stabbed Anxiety, leaving him bleeding out and in pain._

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

_He ran into Deceit, the side he'd been trying to avoid._

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

_And Deceit knew it too. Deceit attacked._

_Pain shot up his arms as he sliced into them._

_Guilt dripped from him as he saw all the things he'd ruined._

_Worry grabbed him as he saw the other sides suffer._

_Fear crawled up his back as he looked at Deceit's flaming eyes._

_More pain as Deceit lashed out._

_More guilt as he saw the sides anger and fear._

_More worry as Deceit warned what he'd do next._

_More fear as he saw Thomas dead._

_Dead from taking his own life._

**_Hang my head, drown my fear_ **

_He wanted to disappear as he sunk lower into his hoodie while the other sides talked._

**_Till you all just disappear_ **

_He watched as the sides all turned to black nothingness, leaving Thomas with Deceit._

_And it was all Virgil's fault._

**_Black hole sun_ **

Deceit's eyes snapped open as he lay in his bed at night, because he felt it.

**_Won't you come_ **

He felt what Anxiety was going to do.

**_And wash away the rain_ **

He had to stop it.

**_Black hole sun_ **

He jumped out of bed and ran down the Mindscape halls.

**_Won't you come_ **

He stopped as he came to Anxiety's room.

**_Won't_ ** **_you come_ **

He banged his fist on Anxiety's locked door.

**_Black hole sun_ **

The blood starting dripping into the water, drop by drop.

**_Won't you come_ **

Then it started to spill, a slow, steady flow.

**_And wash away the rain_ **

Something banged on the door, but Anxiety couldn't hear.

**_Black hole sun_ **

He had his headphones on, and his eyes closed, trying to ignore the images and sounds he knew were fake but still thought were real.

**_Won't you come_ **

He sang along quietly to the music as he felt himself grow tired. A single tear slipped free.

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

The pain lessening as he started to lose feeling in his body.

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

A bang sounded, loud enough for him to hear through the blasting music of his headphones.

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

He grew far more tired, and stopped his weak singing.

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

It was hard to focus on any sound, even the music, and he was fine with that. He was ready.

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

Or so he thought.

**_Won't you come (black hole sun, black hole sun)_ **

He risked opening his eyes just a bit, and saw a blur of black and yellow. He didn’t know if it was his mind playing tricks on him or not.

But it didn’t matter anymore, because he now closed his eyes, and lost himself.

****

****

**_Won't you come_ **

Deceit looked first at the note, and then at the blood in absolute horror. He had caused this. He whisper apologies, then his whispered turned louder, until they were screams.

**_Won't you come_ **

He put one gloved hand on Anxiety's cheek.

His hand began to glow a light yellow.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I finally got it done! 
> 
> (Please please please read all of the notes at the beginning of the chapter.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Oh! And uuuuuhhhh happy birthday to Thomas! I mean I kinda posted this late on the 23rd but it still counts! 
> 
> Cas out.

**Okay so the last chapter was basically how I had imagined making an animatic. I don’t really have the time, energy, or even the materials to make an animatic at the moment, so instead I experimented with the writing technique, mixing in the song lyrics with the storyline thing. (What did you guys think of it? Personally I liked writing or it, but I feel it may be a bit confusing and would most likely make more sense with visuals. But the point of it was to be a bit confusing, flashing through images of a depressed mad-man.) The reason it ended like that was that’s just how I had imagined leaving the animatic, on a cliffhanger to see if anyone would care. So I’ve written a second chapter to kinda close off the story and explain a little background. This also took a lot longer to write then I expected, and it took a twist that I also wasn’t expecting. That’s kinda the fun of just writing and going with the flow, because you experience a similar thrill that the readers experience, because you aren’t 100% sure what’s going to happen.**

**I really kind of liked writing for this AU, and I considered writing an actual multi-chapter fic in it, going from before the start of the story to after he end. Of course, if I did, it wouldn’t come out any time soon because I’ve got other fics I’m working on that I kind of might want to close off because I don’t want to be writing to many fics at once and burn myself out. Then I also have other fics behind closed doors that have yet to be published that I’m working on and considering publishing. So I might write more for this AU in the future, just know that if I do, it won’t be soon. The soonest I’d start would be after Spirits and Elements ends, and I don’t know how long that will be. But, without any further a due, here’s the continuation you may or may not have wanted.**

_\------_

Deceit was sorry. He really was. It wasn’t a lie. He hadn’t meant for this to happened. He didn’t know. How could he? Anxiety hid it so well… How could he have known? He should have known. It was his fault this happened. He pushed Anxiety too far. He… he should have controlled himself. He knew he had anger problems, but… this was too much. To have caused this… No. Stop. He was going to make this right. He had to. No matter what the cost. No matter what it cost him, because this was his fault. His problem. His mistake. His mess. And he had to clean it.

That’s why he’s doing the one thing he had made and oath to not do.

For Anxiety.

Deceit’s writs burned as he went. God, Anxiety made sure to do the job right. Tears slipped free as he hoped and begged it would work. It’s not like he’d done this before. But he was scared. He needed Anxiety to be okay. He should never have lashed out like that. As soon as he saw what he’d done, he’d regretted it. He had hoped that somehow, it wouldn’t take too much of a tole on the anxious side, but he was wrong. So very wrong. He should have known.

He hoped he wasn’t too late.

_\------_

“Where’s Anxiety?” Morality asked again. He was worried about Anxiety. Something didn’t feel right.

“Something seems off about this. I haven’t seen Deceit either…” Creativity said.

“You’re not suggesting… _he_ has something to do with this, do you?” Morality asked in horror, not even able to say Deceit.

“Of course not, at least, not for certain…” Creativity muttered the last part. Logic suddenly reappeared in the mindscape.

“I have Thomas settled for the time being. What could have happened? Both Anxiety and Deceit are not present in Thomas’s mind whatsoever,” He said.

“Maybe we should check Anxiety’s room?” Morality suggested.

“I have a bad feeling about that,” Creativity said. “I feel like something is off. Too off.”

“Checking Anxiety’s room may be our only option, though he will have to bring Thomas with us, as we have never actually been in Anxiety’s room before, so we need Thomas to take us there, as it is our first time there,” Logic spoke calmly, masking his worry.

“What about Deceit, Specs?” Creativity asked.

“We may worry about Deceit later, as Thomas knows not of him, and if Anxiety is out, then he may have done something. Remember, Deceit does disappear sometimes.”

“Yeah, but he just _happened_ to disappear as the _same_ time as Anxiety?”

“Guys, c’mon, if we’re going into Anxiety’s room, let’s go, please,” Morality said, trying to stop a fight that was bound to happened at this rate.

“Very well, Morality. Come, let us get Thomas and try to find Anxiety.”

\------

He regretted not trying to bandage himself before trying. Well, his gloves did help to a tiny extent, but not enough. Deceit knew tricks, like keeping his hands elevated and such, but saving Anxiety mattered more right now. Even though Deceit took an oath to never, _ever_ use this spell as a Dark Side, he _was_ the master of deception. So what if it was now nothing but a broken promise, he was saving Anxiety’s life. He held his breath, hoping to see Anxiety breath again. He felt the blood come from his now open wrists, as he stared at the now scared ones that the anxious side owned. Shame it couldn’t have been kept from scaring, but it was better than still being open. Deceit felt dizzy. He knew being in this state wouldn’t last long.

He wondered why only Dark Sides had been given this ability, to heal any of the other sides, only to have the wound inflicted on them. When he first came to existence, it was the first time after young Thomas lied. (Deceit, after being more acquainted with other sides, was later told that this actually made Anxiety worry, along with Thomas. Deceit hated this memory, because it made him think that he hurt Anxiety just by coming to life.) He was told to become loyal to the Dark Sides, which at the time was mostly just Anxiety, and maybe others that Deceit didn’t think about. When a Dark Side came to being, they were given the ability to heal any wound, as long as the wound would be inflicted on their own beings. Then they were forced to oath to never use this ability, as long as they were to stay loyal to the Dark Sides. Ridiculous, right?

Deceit knew that now he was too far gone. He wouldn’t be able to save himself, and he felt it was almost like a punishment for pushing Anxiety to do this. He just prayed that what he did saved Anxiety. It’s like the blood Anxiety lost went back to him. It was still all about, in the water and now drying on his arms. Its’ just no new fresh blood was coming. Not from Anxiety, anyway. There was plenty coming from a near dead Deceit. He tried to remain awake, in hopes to see Anxiety come to.

Anxiety’s chest began to rise and fall ever so slightly.

Deceit let out of breath he didn’t know he was holding. Anxiety was _alive_. Maybe not in the best condition, but _alive_. He heard noise coming from the other room in Anxiety’s quarters. The others _had_ become suspicious and came looking. Good. Deceit didn’t know if the Light Sides knew about his… abilities, but whatever they thought, it didn’t matter. They’d be able to help Anxiety, nurse him back to health. Deceit knew he was a goner, but he didn’t care. He probably had this coming anyway. He heard footsteps coming. He took one last glance at Anxiety, before his eyes slipped shut.

\------

“I knew we should’ve taken that left turn at Albuquerque,” Thomas grinned at the dark room he and the sides entered. It looked like an emo Thomas living room.

“No, this was were we needed to go,” Logic pointed out.

“I know, I was just – never mind.”

“Alright, well, we’re in the emo nightmare’s room, so were is he?” Creativity asked.

“Kiddo? Were are you kiddo?” Morality called.

They all glanced around the room. Where were they supposed to look?

“I suddenly have a really bad feeling,” Thomas whispered.

“Really bad feeling? So Anxiety _is_ here,” Roman said.

Morality started walking towards the bathroom.

“Morality, where are you going?” Logic asked.

“We have to start looking, Lo, and I just a feel…” Morality trailed off as he made it to the bathroom door and opened it. It wasn’t even closed all the way, it was as if someone rushed in and the door was hit hard enough to bounce back against the wall and back to the frame.  A terrified scream ripped from Morality’s throat as tears quickly spilled. Thomas and the other sides rushed to Morality’s side, only to stop in their tracks at the sight.

The first and foremost thing that was quite obvious was the blood. Blood was everywhere. It only made it worse upon seeing whose blood it was. Deceit lay limp next to the counter, while Anxiety was still the bathtub. The blood obviously had come from their wrists, but Anxiety’s was no longer bleeding, and the big question would be _why_ and _how_. But those questions didn’t matter now, as they rushed towards the bodies in hopes to help. Logic looked at Anxiety, and saw no open wounds, no new blood spilling. He did see the scars, but he couldn’t worry about that now. Anxiety was breathing and had a pulse. He was okay. Deceit was not. As Morality and Thomas tended to Anxiety, Creativity and Logic tried to help Deceit, as they had more experience with tending to fatal wounds.

Why that was, well, it’s not a story for today.

Creativity ripped the sleeves of his outfit as to make a tourniquet for the open wrists. Logic and him quickly bound them tightly, and checked for pulse.

\------

It was like he was floating in black. It was unnerving, yes, but also somehow calm. It was peaceful. At least now he couldn’t bother anyone. But something felt… off. The place was okay, he liked it. But he suddenly felt like he wasn’t meant to be here. At least, not yet. He heard a noise. What was that? The voice sounded familiar. It was calling his name. He felt warmth start to envelope him. Warmth? That’s weird. He felt like he was waking up from a dream as he heard his name continues to be called by a familiar voice. Was it… it was Morality. Morality was calling him. He started to see light, and he snapped his eyes closed to block out the sudden light. When he opened them up again, saw…

Morality?

Thomas?

Logic?

…Even Creativity?

They were both staring down at him with concerned looks. What happened? He… oh. Oh no. They found him in the bathroom with blood spilling and had to take care of him _he’s a problem he’s a distraction_ they’re probably mad at him _because they had to waste time on him because he’s weak_ and-

“Anxiety! You’re okay!” Morality cheered, wrapping Anxiety in even more warmth.

“What?” He mumbled in a barely audible voice.

“We were so worried about you!” Thomas cried as he joined the hug.

Anxiety was overwhelmed, and he didn’t know I it was in a good or bad way. Anxiety brought his wrists to his face, (as he did so he noticed he was in Morality’s room) and somehow became paler. It wasn’t as if he didn’t expect to see some sort of injury, he cut there himself, but he was surprised to see _no_ injury, other than a scar were the cut was.

“How… how long was I out?” he managed to rasp out.

“Four days, five hours, twenty-two minutes, and three seconds,” Logic said, and Creativity gave him a weird look.

“Then how…” Anxiety trailed off as he looked at his wrists. He knew how he had scars that looked years old so quickly. He just hoped to God he was wrong.

“We… found the note, kiddo…” Morality tried to speak.

“You really think all that?” Creativity finally spoke up.

Anxiety could feel tears behind his eyes, ready to spring up at any moment. He tried to ride them of himself, only to make things _worse_. He was trying to free them from the pain he caused them, but he just hurt them _more_. He was such a _screw-up_. His thoughts must have shown on his face, because Thomas and the other sides saw it. They tried to talk to him. He didn’t listen. He was trying to figure out if there was any other way that his wounds could have ended up like this besides…

“Where’s Deceit?” He blurted out.

“What?” they all asked in unison.

“Is… is he okay?” Anxiety said in a small voice. He hated sounding weak, but he knew he was.

“Why does it matter if that _fiend_ is alright?” Creativity snapped.

“Is he?”

There was a pause. A beat of silence. Hard. Tense. Scary. Cold. _Sharp_. The hesitation cut Anxiety worse than any of the times he’d done it to himself. If that snake hurt himself to help him, Anxiety would never forgive himself. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, an answer came.

“Not really…” whispered Morality.

Anxiety somehow grew paler. Did… did Dee give himself up… just for _him_?

“Anxiety.”

Anxiety’s head shot up.

“Deceit is still alive, just not in the most well condition,” Logic spoke smoothly, masking something that Anxiety couldn’t make out. _Pity? Fear? Panic? Anger?_

“What happened? Can I see him?”

“Anxiety, you really shouldn’t do this in your condition…”

“Please?” It came out as a pitiful plea.

“Alright.”

“What?” Creativity’s head snapped in Logic’s direction. “That snake was probably part of why Anxiety did this, and you’re going to let Anxiety see him?”

“You speak as if you nor I have caused Anxiety pain in the past,” Logic snapped back. This got Creativity to shut up. “Deceit is in his room.”

“So we have to go to the Dark Sides?” Anxiety asked.

“No.”

“What? How-”

“See, Deceit’s room is next to yours, Anxiety. With the Light Sides.”

\------

After seeing his own wrists, and hearing what Logic said, it was pretty obvious what Deceit did. He did the forbidden spell of the Dark Sides. Anxiety really wished he didn’t. Not that he didn’t want Deceit to be with the Light Sides, per se, it was because he didn’t want Deceit quite literally almost dying because of it. He wished deep down that he was still wrong, even though he knew he wasn’t. He was proven right once again as he looked down at the sleeping snake curled up in his black and yellow bed. His wrists were bandaged greatly. Anxiety felt guilt swell up inside him.

“Anxiety…” Morality tried to put questions into words, but he couldn’t. No one could. Everyone had questions about what happened between Anxiety and Deceit, and if they could help the troubled sides. Anxiety had just tried to commit suicide. What were they supposed to say? To do?

“I feel like I might should explain some things,” Anxiety sighed.

“You need time to rest, kiddo, don’t worry yourself-”

“No, it’s fine. I… I would rather have a distraction from the whole-” he waved his hands around as to said _that suicide thing_ “thing. This will do for now. Please?”

“Alright kiddo,” Morality sighed after a long pause.

\------

Virgil shifted in his seat in the Mindscape and began.

“When a Dark Side is like, created or born or whatever, they are kinda given this power. All Dark Sides have the ability to heal any sides, or even beings and creatures in the Mindscape. Like in Princey’s kingdom, if someone or something was hurt there, they could heal them. But the cost is getting that injury themselves. Sometimes if it takes to long or they don’t come on time, the person being healed will still get a scar, but they will still be healed,” he showed the scars on his wrists, which earned silent reactions from Thomas and the sides. “But, they are also forced to make an oath to _never_ use that power, as long as they are loyal to the Dark Sides. Especially if it’s a fatal wound. It sounds really stupid, now that I think about it. But after doing it myself, I know the reason why.”

This earned shock and a few gasps from some of the sides. _Shit_. He wasn’t supposed to let _that_ part slip.

“What do you mean after doing it yourself? Kiddo, what did you do?” Morality asked.

“That doesn’t matter right now, okay, we can talk about it later-”

“No. Anxiety, tell us what you meant,” Logic stated.

“I… first I need to tell you something else, okay? Like, why the Dark Sides are supposed to not do that. Gah, how do I say it? It really only happens when a side fixes a fatal wound. When a Dark Side heals a fatal wound, then they… they become a light side.”

A beat of silence passed. Anxiety decided to continue before it got awkward or someone said something he really didn’t want to hear.

“It’s weird, I know, and I never knew that until I did it myself. That’s how I moved in, sorta. I didn’t know until after I did the fatal wound healing thingy, but-”

“Okay, well what did you do?” Creativity spoke. “Who or what did you heal?” Anxiety gave a dry laugh.

“Princey… it was _you_.”

\------

_Anxiety never told the other sides this. By other sides, he meant all of them. The Light Sides, the Dark Sides, even the few neutral sides Thomas had. It’s not lie he really talked to them anyway. No one talked to him or cared about him. Well, Deceit was nice. He wasn’t the greatest, but he was probably the closest thing to a friend Anxiety had. But he would never tell Deceit this either. Anxiety would often sneak into Creativity’s room, go through the back door, and enter the prince’s kingdom. It was another escape for Anxiety when he got tired of his dark room and wanted to stretch his legs. He wouldn’t admit that he really liked the work Creativity put into it. Even if he did, it would be hard to tell Creativity. Creativity scared him. Anxiety tried his best to avoid him at all costs, which he did for the most part. They all have to interact at some point, they were all a part of Thomas. But even though Anxiety would avoid Creativity, he still visited the prince’s kingdom._

_He traveled the land, as it was endless in a way. He got to change into a dark black cloak which hid his whole being. He really enjoyed it. But this day was slightly more nerve racking than usual, because he hadn’t heard the boasting prince anywhere in the Mindscape all day. He wasn’t in his actual room either. So, that could only mean he was somewhere in his kingdom. This has happened many times before, but he never ran into the creative side. Today, Anxiety just felt something was… off. He wrote it off as simply worrying to much, even though something told him something was up._

_He wondered the woods, adoring the work of the trees and creatures that he would never see in real life. Logic would have a fit about how unrealistic it is. But it is a kingdom of fantasy, created by a creative fanciful side, so what would one expect?_

_Anxiety froze as he heard the sound of flapping wings and swings of a sword. Should he run? Should he stay? Or maybe approach? He stood frozen and in indecisive mess. What was he supposed to do? Finally, he decided to approach, and see what it was. He pulled his hood up just in case someone saw. He prayed it wasn’t Creativity and some draconic thing. But, low and behold, the scene that played before him was like a page torn out of a classic fairytale. Creativity held his sword up high as he slashed it at the dragon, which narrowly avoided the slashes as it breathed fire at the prince, who narrowly avoided the fire. Neither of them had noticed the anxious side yet. Perhaps this was his que to leave. But, of course, he was frozen in place, watching the scene which played before him. He continued to watch as the dragon suddenly managed to slash Creativity in the gut with a huge claw, sending Creativity tumbling to the ground. He watched as the dragon transformed in a cloud of mist into the form of a young witch. He watched as he walked away, not noticing the dark figure amongst the trees. That’s when Anxiety jumped into action, as he rushed over to the prince’s side. He fell to the ground next to him as his cloak flew in the air behind him, some landing on the prince’s body. He was no longer conscience, but he was alive._

_Anxiety felt responsibility for this boil inside of him. It was his job to protect Thomas. Protecting Thomas included protecting all the other sides, as they were a part of Thomas, and Thomas couldn’t function as Thomas without them. So, Anxiety did the only thing he could at the moment. He put his hand over Creativity’s forehead as his hand began to glow a bright purple. He could feel the slice go across his stomach. It hurt so bad. But it didn’t hurt as much as the guilt he would have felt if he left Princey there. He didn’t even think about the oath he made about loyalty to the Dark Sides. This mattered more. Once he finished, he collapsed on the ground next to the prince. He used the last of his energy to help the prince sink out and into his own room. Anxiety didn’t know what was going to happen, other than he would probably die here. Well, that was probably for the best. All he ever seemed to do was hurt Thomas, even though all he ever tried to do was help Thomas. Maybe having his last deed be saving the fanciful side, a side that is actually important to Thomas, might help just a bit. The last thing he’ll ever do will benefit Thomas, so at least there’s that. He let his eyes slide shut, and he feel into darkness._

_The next thing he knew, he was lying awake in his bed, and he could feel bandages all over where the wounds where. While trying to figure out what had happened, he found a note at his bed side._

**_Dear Anxiety,_ **

**_I know we have never formally meet, but when I saw what you did for that annoying prince, I realized there’s more to you than what meets the eye. (And what Creativity says about you, which is very annoying. I’m not very found of him.) I hope someday we will be able to talk, but for now, don’t come and look for me. I don’t need you getting in trouble with Creativity when you just saved his ass. Stay out of trouble, okay? Trouble is my job._ **

**_-The Dragon Witch._ **

****

_The Dragon Witch saved him. Huh. As he sat there and processed the information, he suddenly heard noises coming from outside his room, and a bit of talking. Where the other Dark Sides already getting up to something? He got up slowly, dragging himself to the door, slightly wincing at the wound, and went to crack open the door to see what was going on. He felt his face drain of all blood when he saw three confused faces. The faces of Morality, Logic, and Creativity. Why where they outside his room? He got really nervous when Logic noticed him peeking out of his room._

_“Anxiety?” he asked._

_“Um… yeah that’s me. What are you guys doing here?” He forced out. He was so not ready for this type of social interaction, much less any at all._

_“Well, I’d say we should be asking you that,” Creativity said._

_“…what do you mean? I’m just in my room, is there somewhere I’m supposed to be I forgot about?”_

_“Anxiety, kiddo… isn’t your room somewhere with the Dark Sides?” Morality finally spoke up. Anxiety noticed how he didn’t say ‘other Dark Sides’._

_“Yeah? What are you getting at?”_

_“Anxiety, we believe your room has moved into the Light Sides’ common area,” Logic said._

_After much discussion, much to Anxiety’s dismay, they finally understood that Anxiety’s room had been moved away from the Dark Sides, and to the Lights Sides. Anxiety was officially a Light Side._

_\------_

Thomas and the other sides where bewildered by Anxiety’s story. They had no idea that that had happened. Creativity had the hardest time swallowing the information. Anxiety had risked his life to save his, and all this time Creativity had poked fun at him, bullied him, hated on him. And all that time, he never knew what Anxiety had done for him.

“Anxiety… I… I didn’t know-”

“It’s okay, Princey, really. You didn’t know, I get it,” Anxiety said tiredly, stopping Creativity.

“Guys… I think Deceit is awake,” Thomas spoke up.

Everyone made their way to Deceit’s room, Anxiety in the lead. Anxiety was pretty upset that Deceit had down that spell. Not because he didn’t want Deceit to have the chance to be a Light Side or anything. It’s just… Deceit almost _died_ to save Anxiety. And since Anxiety did commit suicide, it made it that much harder. He tried to kill himself to save everyone the trouble of his being, only to almost kill his first true best friend in the whole world. It was really hard to take in.

Once they got there, Anxiety went in to talk with Deceit alone. They talked, and Anxiety calmed Deceit down, which was a first for Anxiety. Anxiety explained that when Deceit did that, it made him a Light Side, and that’s why the Dark Side didn’t want them to do it. Well, that’s what was pieced together. Those Dark Sides may have been told to say that, and had no idea what would actually happen, who knows.

“So… this is why you left?” Deceit asked quietly.

“Yeah, I… it was impossible to tell you. I could never get to you long enough tell you, and you were so angry, and you wouldn’t listen…”

“God, Ann, I’m so sorry, I should have known better-”

“No, Dee, it’s okay. If we sat here and though about how many things we could have done better, we’d be here forever,” Anxiety said, and then smiled tiredly. “Let’s start at the beginning, make things new again, okay?”

“Yeah, that… that sounds good.”

“Now, let’s go talk to the rest of the family.”

“Alright, Ann.”


End file.
